Beautiful Thing #6: Irony

   A quick trip to Wikipedia netted this fun little example: “When John Hinckley attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan, all of his shots initially missed the President; however a bullet ricocheted off the bullet-proof windows of the Presidential limousine and struck Reagan in the chest. Thus, the windows made to protect the President from gunfire were partially responsible for his being shot.” (Wikipedia, I love you.  You will soon be on this list.) 

Irony is the universal bitch-slap that puts fools in thier place.  Irony is swift and unmerciful.  Irony is often deadly.  Also pilferred from Wikipedia: ”In 1900, Charles Justice was a prison inmate at the Ohio State Penitentiary in Columbus. While performing cleaning detail duties in the death chamber, he devised an idea to improve the efficiency of the restraints on the electric chair. Justice designed metal clamps to replace the leather straps, thus allowing for the inmate to be secured more tautly and minimize the problem of burnt flesh. These revisions were incorporated into the chair and Justice was subsequently paroled from prison. Ironically, he was convicted in a robbery/murder and returned to prison 11 years later under a death sentence. On November 9, 1911, he died in the same electric chair that he had helped to improve.”  Did I read that right?  Was the guy’s last name “Justice?!”

Here is a fine wikipedia example that encapsulates the defeated, “Humph”- factor that quality irony induces: “Both hydrogen and oxygen are flammable elements, but together form water, which is non-flammable.”

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Beautiful Thing #31: Jets

   Some may remember beautiful thing #82, Sharks!  They were admiringly considered to be like underwater jets.  Yes, toothy jets under the water are cool and beautiful, but you know what else are cool and beautiful?  Toothy jets in the air.  There is something about their aerodynamic shape, the scream of the afterburners, and the remora-like missiles hitched onto the wings that inspires unashamed awe.

    Head on, they are terrifying, mean-looking, animal.   Predatory and powerful, they inspire a visceral reaction.   Personally, when I see a fighter jet up close, I want to touch it; to pet the sleeping monster.  When I see one making maneuvers in the sky, my heart leaps with jingoistic patriotism.  

    I could go on, Jets are man-made things that fly, a testament to technology, etc.  The simple fact is they are sweet.  Flying works of deadly art.

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